Once Upon A Time, there was a boy called Drew and he had a dream. It all began one long summer’s day watching and dancing along to musical wonder. On that fateful day he was shown the way to the true light. Cool, huh?

Later that day, he returned home and opened the tome of magical musicians and began to concoct a powerful potion of rock wonder. The first ingredient that was added was Mikey, who was instantly enthralled by Drew’s quest and immediately set off to bring in the elemental force of lead guitar. He used his enchanted vocal powers to summon Simon, who grabbed his guitar, effects, and a bag of powerful mushrooms, firmly set on joining the rest.

Drew knew that this was not enough to create the finished article, so once again he consulted the tome. This time he called Steve the drummer and Julian the bassist. Against all odds, the band was finally complete and Drew was one step closer to the light!!

Soon something loud was screaming out from the four corners of a bewitched land called North London. Amidst smoke and alcohol, something truly magical began to happen. New music, unheard by the ears of common men, drifted softly into the air, like a harpoon attached to an anvil.

This strange music greatly angered the evil Gods of pop, who listened with horror. Enraged, the Gods decided to plot against the newly formed band. Problems soon began to surface and Steve the drummer found his health diminishing, as he was mysteriously cursed with the infliction of Diabetes. Fearing for his life, he decided to appease the Gods by leaving the band and for some reason spending a lot of time in hospital.

Unaware of the curse, Dan, the one "who bangs the drums", took up the reign of the golden sticks in a bold effort to keep the music alive. And for a while, the evil was subdued by Dan’s funky rhythms.

The Evil Pop Gods, being what they are, swiftly found another way to meddle in the affairs of our hapless heroes. This time Julian was struck down, subject to a curse far more severe than anything Steve had to endure. Yes, it's true - he was found to be pregnant. In immense shame and humiliation, Julian departed on his long trek to the outer reaches of North Yorkshire to escape the stonings. He is now building his nest and applying cream to his stretch marks. The curse lives on...

Somewhat shocked, the band decided to carry on with their mutual quest. Drew, reeling from a most unusual stroke of genius, suggested that the band enlist the powerful magic of Mike Orange - if they could only find and trap him in the enchanted hippy techno forest. Many misadventures followed - one involved an amusing story with a stoned dragon - but in the end our heroes were finally able to trap Mike and bring his thumping basslines into the mix. The band now complete and re-energised, savagely unleashed their sonic charge of mayhem and destruction, forever banishing the evil pop gods back to hell (which, strangely enough, is right next door to where Simon Cowell Lives).

However, the curse of The Rebels was to strike once more... The lure of selling various types of cheese on a stall in Somerset proved too much to resist for Danny Drum and he was last seen heading west on the A303 drinking cider and saying 'Ooo-aar' to random strangers.
Slightly perturbed by this bizarre turn of events the Rebels once again reached out into the musical ether. Guided by fate, the force, karma and a whole load of other shit you ain't ever heard of, the boys were joined by the Mexican wonder - human drum machine, Pedro Ortiz.

Now, The Drone Rebels stride bravely into the sunset united on a quest for good tunes and good times. A quest to rid the world of bland music and over sized ego’s, the odd corrupt government and, by a cruel twist of fate as far as Dan is concerned, various cheeses. A quest for their own internet sex tapes (Eat your heart out Paris!). Yes, they are on a mission people and they will not rest until they succeed! Or at least until its time for bed...

The End.

(or is it?)